


to love and die

by majestymalik



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 2 in 1, Angst, Book 1, Book 2, Death, Depression, Domestic Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexual Violence, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3940477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majestymalik/pseuds/majestymalik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He was happy with you, but he wasn't happy with himself."</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>in which the light of his life burns out</p>
<p> </p>
<p>warning: major character death (nothing is being romanticized)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the first time we met

**Author's Note:**

> this book, story, idk, will be split in two and there will be a major character death please bare with me oh my god

Liam was seated in a restaurant while being on a date with a guy that his best friend set him up with. Was it a good date? Not so. All the guy did was talk about himself, chew with his mouth open and laugh really hard (his laughter had actually created some serious banter, but that got managed eventually). They were only through the first course of their dinner date, but Liam was already done with this guy and ready to pull out his own hair out of frustration.

  
''-he wasn't that bad, but he was just really terrible in bed.''

  
''Right,'' Liam mutters, giving the guy in front of him a forced smile. ''Would you mind if we talked about something else maybe, Devon? I don't know, maybe, our interests?''

  
Devon gasped with a big smile and started talking about his obsession with shoes. Sure, Liam was a sneakerhead but he did not want to talk about his love for sneakers with this guy. Not like he had a chance anyway, Devon didn't spare him a second to talk at all. He can't believe Harry talked him into this blind date, this was terrible.

  
''I'm gonna go to the toilet, I think I have to take a dump.'' Devon says, pushing his chair back. He accidentally hits the person sitting behind him and turns around to tell them off. After a five minute arguement he turns back around and smiles at Liam. ''I'll be right back, don't wait for me with the second course. It might be a big one.''

  
Liam gives Devon an uncomfortable yet awkward smile as he scratches the back of his neck. ''Of course, take your sweet time. There's no hurry.'' Devon leans forward and presses a quite oily kiss on his cheek before heading to the restroom. As the guy finally left, he lets out a long, deep and tired sigh. ''Finally,'' He mumbles.

  
There came a laugh from behind Liam, making him mentally curse the person for having fun while he wansn't. He can't believe terrible dates like this happen to him all the time, he's always nice, sweet and good to everyone and treats them like he likes to be treated yet it seems like the universe loves to torture him. This all is just so frustrating that he is so close to giving up on finding love and just live a lonely but peaceful life with his dad and dog Loki.

''Are you having a terrible date too?'' Comes from behind Liam.

  
He didn't bother to turn around and look if the person was talking to him but he answers anyway. ''Yes, he's so rude and has no table manners. He left to take a big dump or something.'' He complains.

  
''Mine spat in my mouth while talking and ruined my favorite white shirt but from what I've heard, yours must be worse.'' The person behind him says, moving around a little.

  
Liam giggles, shaking his head. ''I'm not sure if someone leaving the table to take a dump is worse than being spit in the mouth while talking,'' He says back, playing with his fork. ''But at least your date didn't get in three arguements in less than 45 minutes.''

  
''His retainers fell out of his mouth.''

  
''That's disgusting!''

  
The person behind him chuckles softly before saying, ''Please, I heard your date burp the alphabet four times.''

  
''I was and am still very sorry and embarrassed because of that,''

  
''I would be too. I mean, he only made it to the letter F.'' The person jokes.

  
''The letter F for Failure.'' Liam states, rolling his eyes.

  
This time the person behind him starts laughing loudly but quickly manages himself to not bother any people in the restaurant. Liam can hear some movement going on behind him, making him wonder if the person left quietly. ''Do you want to leave? Both our dates are terrible and apparently we have more fun together than with them," He suddenly hears from in front of him.

  
Liam looks up and immediately becomes speechless. The person from behind him was now standing in from of him and he is handsome, beautiful - gorgeous even. His hair was put in a ponytail and he was wearing a white shirt (that had quite a big red stain on it), a black leather jacket, black ripped skinny jeans and colorful sneakers that Liam was quite fond of. "Depends on where your date is," He says quietly.

  
"He went to put his contact back in his eye, it fell in his drink while he was drinking- don't ask."

  
"Alright then," Liam pulls a face and gets off his chair, grabbing his coat. "Lets go before they come back." He says as he starts walking ahead of the guy.

  
The two of them left the restaurant, giggling like two little high school boys who had pranked their teacher. The guy led Liam to an ice cream shop and decided that they'd have ice cream to forget about their terrible dates. They talked about everything; their interests, favorite food, movies, books, superheroes, artists and all that comes to their mind. By the time Liam looked at his watch it was already 10pm and he had to start heading to the bus stop or else he wouldn't make it home.

  
"I can bring, if you want? I have a car."

  
"No," Liam smiles. "I don't want to bother you and get in your way."

  
"Oh please,"

  
Liam ended up giving in and let the guy drive him home after a small discussion. He ended up losing but he didn't mind because the guy drove this black mini Cooper that Liam was fascinated by. The guy had explained that big cars weren't really his thing so he kept it to a trendy but small car, eventually calling it a 'fab' vehicle as well.

  
"Thank you for the car ride," Liam says with a smile that quickly turned into a frowns. "Uhm.. Whats your name? You never told me."

  
"Zayn," He says with a small smile. "How about you?"

  
"My name's Liam and thank you for tonight, it was better than whatever my date would've had turned out to be."

  
Zayn chuckles. "Thank you, you too, Liam. I'll see you around, yeah."

Liam told Zayn bye before getting out of the car and walking up the path to his front door. He watched how Zayn drove off into the distance before mentally cursing himself as he stepped inside his house.

  
He forgot to ask for Zayn's number.


	2. the first time you tried a different way home

 

**A week later**

  
He actually never took this way home but Louis, his best friend, insisted on taking it because it was faster to Zayn's new flat and his work. It was slowly getting dark and he really had to get to his flat so he could study. Of course he shouldn't have had listened to Louis, the road is busier on this side of the town and since the weather was terrible; traffic was extra busy.

  
While Louis was munching away on nuts and cookies in the backseat of the car, Zayn was keeping a good eye on the streets. People get reckless during bad weather around there and he does not want to be responsible for anything.

  
"Look!" Louis screams, laughing loudly. "He's drenched." He comes to sit in between the two seats and points out of the window to a guy with curls sticking to his forehead while wearing a yellow rain coat.

  
Zayn squinted his eyes, watching the guy fight with the black umbrella he was trying to fix that the wind had ruined. A small smile appears on his face and he carefully manages to drive up to the guy. He rolls down his window, not caring if rain comes in and the wind blowing hard. "Need a ride?" He shouts out, hoping that the guy would hear him.

  
The guy looks up with a frown that quickly turns into a smile. He waves at Zayn before dropping his umbrella and walking over to the car.

  
"What are you doing?" Louis whisper yells, looking at the guy that looks like he's dressed as a banana. "Who is that?" He asks.

  
Zayn watches as the guy approaches them, his smile growing bigger. "That's the guy I told you about, thats Liam." He says fondly. ''Hey Liam,''

  
"Hey Zayn," Liam greets happily. "What are you doing here?" He asks, leaning down a bit to look into the car.

  
"I'm on my way to my new flat, actually. Do you need or want a ride?"

  
Liam bites his bottom lip and shrugs. "Only if I'n not much of a bother to you."

  
Zayn chuckles softly and shakes his head. "I don't think you're ever going to be a bother to me." He jokes but somewhere meaning it.

  
Liam starts blushing and quickly walks around the car, trying to stop himself from smiling like a weirdo. He opened the door on the passenger side and got in, apologizing for wetting the inside of Zayn's car.

  
"I am Louis, who are you?"

  
Liam put his seatbelt on and looked behind him, to the backseat. He gave Louis a friendly smile before introducing himself. "I'm Liam, nice to meet you Louis."

  
"Yeah, he's a keeper." Louis says looking over to Zayn who's eyes went big because of his best friend's comment. "I can sense he's really sweet so why not."

  
"Thank you?" Liam asks more than says.

  
Zayn mentally cursed Louis' name and drove up the road again, asking Liam if he minded coming to his flat first before dropping him off at home. Of course Liam didn't mind and he just agreed on coming along. Louis then asked Liam why he looked like a banana and Liam explained that his best friend, Harry, got him this for their so called friendaversary. Never in his life had Louis laughed so hard, making Liam feel a little silly (which he actually did look too).

  
"Louis, stop." Zayn scolds, glancing over to a pouting Liam then back to the road. "Ignore him, he's the definition of an ass."

  
Louis let out another cry of laughter. "Zayn, they have a friendaversary!" He screamed, making Zayn frown.

  
"Louis, I'm serious, stop." Zayn demands.

  
Liam smiles lightly and shakes his head. "Its okay, Zayn." He soothes.

  
"A friendaversary," Louis repeats, laughing quietly.

  
As Zayn dropped Louis off at his work, he continued his way with Liam to his flat. The two of them started talking about everything again, this time going deeper and asking more questions than they did the first time they met. Liam told Zayn about his action figures collection while Zayn told Liam about his strip books collection. They got out of the car when Zayn parked it by a building and Liam followed after him, looking around. Usually he didn't go home with strangers, but could he really say Zayn was a stranger?

  
"This is my new flat," Zayn says, unlocking the door. "I finished decorating it yesterday, finally." He sighs, stepping aside for Liam to get in after him. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

  
Liam shook his head and looked around the flat out of curiosity. The first thing he noticed was that Zayn didn't have pictures hanging around his home. Then he noticed that Zayn had a big jar of red gummy bears only when he entered the living room, and that was quite funny to him. "I assume you only like the red gummy bears?" He calls out when he notices that Zayn is nowhere in sight.

  
"I do," Zayn shouts out from where he is, making Liam chuckle. "Louis got me four jars full of red ones only. Took him two weeks to fill them, he said." He says, entering the living room with his laptop in hands. "Should I drop you off home now? I only needed my laptop,"

  
Liam nods and follows Zayn out of the flat, listening to him talk about needing to go to the library to finish off some of his work because at home he'll get distracted. The car ride back to Liam's was a short one, apparently Liam only lived 15 minutes away from Zayn's new flat.

  
"Wait, before you go-"

  
"Yeah?" Liam asks, interrupting Zayn. "Sorry, please continue."

  
Zayn smiles, taking out his phone and holding it up. "Can I have your number? I'd love to stay-"

  
"Yes, of course, yes." Liam interrupted again, glad that Zayn asked for his number. He took Zayn's phone away from him and added his number to Zayn's contacts before handing the device back to him. "Just text me and I'll add your number. I wanted to ask for yours first, but I chickened out." He admits shyly.

  
Zayn chuckled softly, putting his phone back into the pocket of his pants. "I'm glad I asked you for your number then, who knows when we'd see each other again."

  
"Yes, and thank you for the ride. Again."

  
"No problem, Liam. Its also probably not the last ride I'll be giving you."

  
Liam bites his bottom lip and smiles lightly, knowing that what Zayn said was a little true. He has a feeling that Zayn and him were going to be great friends and he was already looking forward to that. After saying bye to Zayn, he gets out of the car and walks his way up the path to his house. He watches as Zayn drives off, smiling to himself like a goofball while standing in front of his door with that silly yellow raincoat of his.

  
For some reason, Liam was already looking forward to the next time he was going to see Zayn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first three to five chapters is where i am slowly building up ziam. after those chapter y'all will get more angst and smut. right now i'm just feeding y'all with fluf yay!

**Author's Note:**

> hi thanks for reading dear :)


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